March 2013
1 post
February 2013
5 posts
Ctat →
January 2013
8 posts
December 2012
5 posts
November 2012
16 posts
Conversation I heard in the club.
Shy Guy: Hey there..
Random Guy: Hey what's up?
Shy Guy: Nothing much, just wanted to say you are really cute.
Random Guy: Thanks dude!
Shy Guy: So, are you here with anyone?
Random Guy: Yeah, my girlfriend just went to the washroom.
Shy Guy: Oh God, I'm sorry, didn't know you were straight.
Random Guy: That's alright it's cool.
Shy Guy: You don't mind me calling you cute?
Random Guy: A compliment is a compliment no matter who it comes from.
Did anyone notice...
thewhitemankilledthetruth:
thesuperjew:
Obama mentions his wife in his victory speech: “…The woman who agreed to marry me 20 years ago”
Romney mentions his wife in his concession speech: “… The woman I chose to marry”
It’s amazing how someone’s views on equality can come out in one simple sentence
Holy shit.
September 2012
3 posts
List of Harry Potter Spells
Accio: Brings an object to you
Aguamenti: Creates a gush of water from the tip of the spell caster’s wand
Alohomora: Opens locks
Aparecium: Makes invisible ink become visible
Avada Kedavra: The Unforgivable Curse; Kills your opponent; taken from “Abra Cadabra”
Avifors: Turns things into birds
Avis: Makes birds fly out of the end of your wand
Bombarda: Causes a small, locally contained explosion. To make a bigger explosion, one could use “bombarda maxima”
Colloportus: Closes a door and binds it so that it can’t be opened.
Confringo: AKA the Blasting Curse; Causes the item targeted to explode
Confundus: Confounds your target, or makes them temporarily confused
Conjunctivitis: Damages the eyesight of your opponent, making them seem to have pink eye
Crucio: The Second Unforgivable Curse, the Cruciatus Curse; Tortures your opponent mercilessly
Deletrius: Erases the last spell cast by a wand so that it can’t be discovered
Densaugeo: Makes teeth grow out of control
Diffindo: Makes seams split open, severs an object into two pieces
Dissendium: Opens a specific passageway into a cellar, may be useful in other instances; may be only a password
Duro: Turns an item to stone.
Enervate: Mistaken spell. Changed to Rennervate. Used to wake up a stunned person
Engorgio: Makes an item larger, as in swollen
Episkey: Heals relatively minor wounds.
Evanesco: Causes an item to immediately dissolve away, as if it had never existed
Expecto Patronum: Creates Patronus
Expelliarmus: Disarms the target of the spell, such as knocking their wand out of their hand
Fera Verto: Transforms animals into water goblets!
Ferula: Binds a broken limb with a splint and bandages, tightly wrapped
Fidelius: Allows a secret to be hidden within the secret keeper’s soul; very powerful spell
Finite Incantatem: Stops any spell
Flagrate: Allows the user to write or draw in the air with fire
Flipendo: Also knows as the Knockback Jinx, pushes or flips something backwards
Furnunculus: Causes a person to break out in boils
Geminio: Creates a duplicate of an item (a twin, as in the zodiacal sign Gemini).
Homorphus: Man-Shape; makes a werewolf or person disguised as an animal resume their human shape
Immobulus: Immobilizes the target
Impedimenta: Puts up an impediment that slows down something or someone that is coming toward you
Imperio: The third unforgivable curse. Allows the user to assume complete control of another person
Impervius: Repels water from a surface
Incarcerous: Conjures up ropes, which then bind an opponent
Incendio: Lights a fire
Legilimens: Allows the user to gain access to another’s mind and memories
Levicorpus: Turns your opponent upside down and dangles them in thin air
Liberacorpus: “Liberates”, or frees a body that has been caught up by the levicorpus spell
Locomotor Mortis: The Leg-Locker Curse; locks an opponent’s legs together
Lumos: Creates light, usually by making the tip of the wand glow. More light can be created using “lumos maxima”
Mobiliarbus: Used to move a tree from one place to another
Mobilicorpus: Used to move a body from one place to another
Morsmordre: or Morsmorde Used to summon the Dark Mark
Muffliato: Causes a buzzing noise to surround a limited area so that those in the area can carry on a private conversation
Nox: Extinguishes light, used to douse the light created by “Lumos”
Obliviate: Makes a person “oblivious”, erasing their memories of an event
Orchideous: Conjures a bunch of flowers from the user’s wand
Petrificus Totalus: Total petrification; petrifies an opponent totally
Point Me: The Four Point Spell; makes the user’s wand act like a compass
Portus: Turns any item into a Portkey, which can then be used to transport a person or persons to another location.
Prior Incantato: Reveals to you the last spell that a wand was used to cast
Protego: Protects the user, and sends a spell back on an opponent
Quietus: Makes things quiet, used to muffle “Sonorus”
Reducio: Shrinks an item
Reducto: Blasts solid objects into pieces
Relashio: Releases something from being constrained or held
Rennervate: Was originally “ennervate”, but corrected by author; means to energize or wake up
Reparo: Repairs broken items
Repello: Repels something
Repello Muggletum: Makes an area invisible to Muggles
Revelio: Causes something that is hidden to be revealed
Rictusempra: Causes a person to curl up in laughter, as if being tickled
Riddikulus: Makes a boggart assume a “ridiculous” form, thereby making it funny instead of terrifying
Salvio Hexia: Unclear; seems to strengthen other protective spells, or to deflect any hexes cast toward a specific location
Scourgify: Used to clean dirt or other material off of a surface
Sectumsempra: Causes lacerations to appear all over an opponent’s body, as if they had been cut by an invisible sword
Serpensortia: Conjures a snake
Silencio: Makes the target of the spell unable to make any sound.
Sonorus: Amplifies the user’s voice
Stupefy: Stupefies an opponent, or knocks them insensible temporarily
Tarantallegra: Forces an opponent’s legs to dance uncontrollably
Tergeo: Scours something clean
Waddiwasi: Removes a stuck object, as in a wad of gum that is stuck in a keyhole
Wingardium Leviosa: Allows the user to make an object levitate
August 2012
18 posts
When adults complains about our generation
sodamnrelatable:
I’m here like hold the fuck up…
who raised OUR generation? YOUR generation did, so…
more hilarious posts from the sloth
via sodamnrelatable
